27th December, New Delhi : Lokpal debate in Loksabha suddenly took a new turn. CONgress led UPA has now sought to bring Santa Claus under the purview of Lokpal Bill. In a state of shock and despair several CONgress MPs and are allegedly discontent that they did not receive any gifts this Christmas from Santa Claus. Sources suggest that the tension started when media reported that Gujarat CM Narendra Modi and Bihar CM Nitish Kumar both received their gifts and were happily flaunting their gifts.
CONgress government has moved a new draft which also includes Santa Claus under Lokpal. Kapil Sibal while introducing the new draft said that all religions should be equal in front of law and this is a move to promote communal harmony. He also added that this draft is stronger compared to Team Anna’s Janlokpal. Meanwhile Sibal was overheard by our sources crying in the toilet that he was angry with Santa for not giving him gifts. Our sources suggest that there was a core committee meeting of CONgress on 26th night in which many MPs were discontent on Santa’s response this Christmas and the move is to teach Santa a lesson. CONgress leader Beni Prasad Verma said this move is politically motivated and that Parliament is supreme. If Santa wants to fight then he should contest elections. He added “Santa ko UP ane do…dekh lengey. Parliament jantantra me sabse upar hai aur agar kisi ko gift milna chaiye to sabse pehle MPs ko milna chaiye.”
This Santagate took an ugly turn when Home Minister P Chidambaram ordered a midnight lathicharge on children celebrating Christmas holidays, arresting and charging 32 children of anti-state activities. Delhi Police clarified that children did not seek prior permission to party in their homes. On the opposition protest CBI has been directed to carry out investigations against all 32 accused.
Meanwhile RJD supremo Laloo Prasad demanded reservations in Christmas gifts distributed by Santa. He said “Hum Pradhan Mantri se ye requesht karta hun ki iss desh me ST, SC, OBS aur minority ko aage bhadane ke liye ye AArakshan jaruri hai. Hum demand karta hun ki hamari mang ko poora kijiye warna desh ke Jantantra ko khatra hai.”
However sources suggest that some UPA MPs have actually received gifts from Santa like P Chidambaram the other Chappal of the pair as he already had one half, Manmohan Singh an appointment to doctor for spine checkup and Sharad Pawar a box of Jhandu baam while N D Tiwari gets to keep Munni free with it.
CONgress General Secretary Digvijay Singh called us and disclosed that even Rahul Gandhi did not receive any gifts. He added that Rahul Baba have actually not received any gifts since childhood and he alleges that there is an RSS hand behind this conspiracy. “I would say that Santa Claus is an RSS agent since ever even before RSS came in existence. There is an obvious similarity in how Advani Ji goes about his work in a Rath yatra and how Santa does”. Digvijay Singh also claimed that the real name of Santa Claus is SANT KAILASH.
Meanwhile there is happy news for Aam Aadmi as Santa has gifted them a truly strong Janlokpal. On this Santa said : Mai Anna hun!
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